One way to get your car keys back

In the Army it is not unusual when you are deployed to have a motor pool of vehicles for common use. for various work tasks and other errands. We are all broken up into various sections in my office. Each section has a pool of vehicles for various reasons, including what I call PX Ops. Anyway, in theory the rule of share and share alike is implemented. If you need a vehicle you ask the vehicle monkey (e.g. an E-6 type in this instance) for a set of keys. Common sense tells you that you return the keys to him and there will be no problems. If it were only that easy. Anyway during one of our countless briefings the key monkey, after doing an accounting of his keys, discovered that he was missing one set. This set happened to belong to the truck that he drives.

One day goes by and still no keys. The key monkey, getting a little more agitated asked again in one of our countless meetings if anyone had the keys to his truck. Still no keys are produced and million mile stares and stone silence follows after he asks again. This goes on for about two days. During one of the same countless meetings that we have all been attending the key monkey did not mention the missing keys. Instead he plopped down what looked to be a box concealed in a white plastic garbage bag. At closer look it was a truck battery. Everyone was kind of looking at this object sitting on the conference table as the meeting went on. The key monkey, still seething that no one had returned his truck keys, stated "Today it is a car battery tomorrow it will be the wheels! I want my !@#@ truck keys back!" After a few giggles there were still no truck keys at this time. After conducting a mini inquisition of some of his underlings, the key monkey narrowed down the culprit to one. This one Soldier means well but would lose his head if it weren't attached. "The One" has a way of not getting stuff done but offering very elaborate explanations why. Anyway, after the key monkey conducted his grand inquisition on "The One," the One kind of sheepishly denied having the keys. After a few hours of the truck battery sitting on the table where one of our countless meetings occurred, the key monkey's truck keys miraculously appeared on the key monkey's desk. As a lesson on how not lose keys the key monkey has now placed objects on his keys that would rival any cinder blocks or other objects that gas stations or other stores use to prevent their patrons from either losing or stealing their keys.